


Alternate ending to Praxis

by MissFieryHeart



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate ending to Praxis, CoraRiley's beautiful Dark Reylo work, Ends with fluff though, F/M, Modern AU, Reylo Modern AU, Serial Killer, a bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 15:36:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14115465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissFieryHeart/pseuds/MissFieryHeart
Summary: alternate ending takes place right after chapter 12





	Alternate ending to Praxis

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CoraRiley](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoraRiley/gifts).



> Because I love you, Cora ^^ ;-)
> 
> Note that this ending is in itself not ‘explicit’ but seeing as this is an alternate chapter to an already very steamy explicit fic, it would be dangerous for me to “lure” people in with an inocent Teen-and-up-fic, only to have people think “hey let me go read the original story”.  
> I may or may not edit the last bit and put in some explicit, but so far I don’t know if it fits :)  
> Hope you’ll like it ^^

  
When Rey arrived at the hospital, Poe stood at the entrance, wide eyed and hugged himself in his arms while looking frantic at every ambulance that arrived at the hospital. As soon as he spotted Rey, Poe flew over to her stretcher she laid on and held out to take her hand. She hardly got to take his hand before a string of tearful apologies was choked out from him as they rolled inside.

  
  
He didn’t leave her sight when the police officer came to ask questions. Defended her and nearly pushed the officer back out of the room when Rey told them that she couldn’t deal with questions at the moment.  
_What did it matter anyways? Kylo was dead and she was free_. Rey nearly snorted, _free, no_. She knew her heart would never give him up... even with sweet, concerned Poe at her side.

  
  
When the medical personnel finally seemed to be done, a nurse had carefully asked lastly if they should take a sample for a ‘rape kit’.

  
  
She felt Poe stiffen besides her, his face looking nauseous by the implication. So of cause Rey looked down and mumbled it wouldn’t be necessary. Besides, an examination down there wouldn’t show any rifts and trauma that rape victims (often) showed. She had been wet and willing each time.

  
She felt Poe’s hand squeezed hers for comfort and had looked up into those hopeful eyes and she knew, she couldn’t bring herself to tell him.

 

“He... I... I fought him each time he tried, so he didn’t ...” Rey had shook her head, feeling nauseous to lie and to have reacted so willingly to Kylo.

  
Poe’s sigh of relief hit her right in the chest and she felt the fight drain out of her. She just wanted to go home.

  
  
The doctor had offered a few pills, if sleep were to be difficult – witch apparently it if you were a victim. Rey had always been a survivor and never had use for any of that sort, but Poe had insisted. So _finally_ , after repeatedly dismissing the hospital’s concern to see the psychologist downstairs, she was finally discharged… with the psychologist’s card ‘just in case’ as Poe had put it.

 

Poe helped her out into his car and there was a blessed silence in the car ride back home. She couldn’t handle being asked another question; not without screaming ‘ ** _fuck off!_** _He is dead, what does it matter’_. Sure, she wanted him to _pay_ and sure, Rey couldn’t live caged in _like that_. But that didn’t mean her heart didn’t _ache_ for him.

 

His mangled and lifeless body kept shining in her mind like a beacon. To light her way back home… but she burned down that home. Crushed him and… Rey shook her head, _no!_ She _had_ to kill him. She would never be free, if she didn’t.

 

Her chest hurt just to think about it, but Rey was a survivor! She survived Kylo and she would survive her mundane life again, pretending she was someone who she was not. With sweet and gentle Poe at her side, life was going to be good again, she told herself. _Yeah right_ , Sasha snorted. They both knew that was a lie.

 

\---  


At home in her apartment, Rey tread carefully inside. She had looked around and could almost see Kylo silently slink around in this place like a shadow, taking a few knickknacks here and there. It made her both angry and devastatingly sad.

 

Being home again, after all that had happened; she couldn’t hold her emotions inside any longer. Rey fell to her knees with a heart-wrenching scream. Tears rolled down her cheeks while she held her shaken hands to cover her face and crumbled forward on the floor.

  
Poe, who was in the bathroom to put away the few pills to help her sleep, ran into the living room when she had cried out. His knees skirted across the floor, as he had thrown himself down to the floor to hug her. Poe shushed her, stroked her gently over her back and told her everything was going to be okay.

 

While Poe kept ensuring Rey that she was safe, Rey could feel Sasha taking sick pleasure of her misery. _If only Poe knew you cried for your loss of Kylo_ , Sasha taunted angrily. Rey shook her head to try and shake her off, that bitch would never be quiet.

 

When her sobbing turned to quiet sniffling, Poe finally spoke up. “You want a warm bath, Sunshine? I can make you some food while you bathe, if you like”.

 

She was still too weak in her legs from exhaustion, but nodded, so Poe had gently removed Kylo’s big coat. He tossed the coat on the floor and helped Rey into the bathroom and Rey thanked her lucky stars that he didn’t know who the coat had belonged to.

 

As soon as Poe had left her in the shower stall to find a towel, Rey spotted the missing green soap that Kylo once had placed and then took again to their place in the bunker. Tears watered her eyes and it stung; Sasha screaming every profanity at Rey, for killing Kylo and then regretting after.

 

Poe’s hands came back to her and he hugged her closely. “Hey, hey, hey, Sunshine. It’s okay, you’re safe.” When he tried to leave, she held on to him. She couldn’t deal with not being close to a warm body, even if Poe didn’t smell or feel like Kylo.

 

Poe awkwardly got his clothes off and he turned on the water. Slowly he washed Rey, while he made sure to keep at least one hand soothingly on her shoulder or back. Rey kept sniffing through the bath, hating herself for missing Kylo.

 

 _You don’t know what you got till it’s gone_ , Sasha said with a snippy edge to her. Had she been real, Rey could imagine she stood with her hands folded over her chest and her back to Rey, trying to give her the silent treatment.

  
Rey’s emotions felt raw and her chest hollowed out. Her anger at Kylo burned when she felt how her feet reacted to the warm water. Her foot-soles had taken most damage by running barefoot over the sharp and frozen pebbles at the snow-covered ranch. To believe that monster would trap her and keep her locked up.

 

The fierce anger burned bright... and was short-lived, because every memory Rey had to feel righteous fury about, was quickly followed by a pair of dark brown eyes, large hands that held her, making her feel truly alive for the first time in life.

 

Rey didn’t get to process much of the past week, before Poe turned off the water and carefully dried her off. He dresses her _carefully_ , talked to her _carefully_. He tried so carefully in _everything_ that it nearly choked her.

 

He cooked for her, when she had frozen solid at the offer that Poe would go pick up a Farmhouse Bagel Sandwich that she normally would wolf down. Poe had taken it as Rey was frightened still to be left alone. “Sunshine, don’t worry, I won’t leave you. Don’t worry. I can cook instead, okay”. Letting Rey sit on the couch and relax while Poe cooked them dinner.

 

Rey felt on the verge to break down. _Why did he have to run after her? Why couldn’t he just have_ stayed _?!_ She sobbed softly into her knees and hugged her legs, imagining his arms around her. She would never feel his safe embrace or feel loved again. That though made Rey choke on a loud sob.

 

Dinner was a quiet affair and Rey forced herself to find all the ways Poe was better for her than Kylo was. She refused to let herself wallow in a pit of misery. She wouldn’t.

 

That night Rey had asked him to make love to her. Poe of cause hesitated, unsure if she wasn’t going though too much to take advantage of her state of mind. “I need to feel alive, Poe. I need to feel I’m really here and not still trapped”. _Or you’re just trying to convince yourself that you don’t need Kylo, hmm,_ Sasha replied to Rey’s blatant lie.  
  
  
Poe had made love to her, slowly and boringly and then had snuggled into her side, kissing her gently and fell fast asleep.

 

In the stillness of night, Rey’s mind kept her up for hours after and her mind wandered back to the first place Kylo had taken her. The bunker could have been anywhere and had Kylo survived somehow, the police would most likely never have found _it_ or the _evidence_ of the other girls.

 

Rey was the only one to bring him to justice... but even in death, did she want that? Want to be his judge and tormentor, with her word alone would put him in jail. The police haven’t gotten a statement yet and the law being the law, it was her word that would have locked him in.

 

Somehow though, it felt like a betrayal if she were to give that statement.

 

Had he let her go, Rey would perhaps just not to press charges. _It happened all the time_ , she justified. She watched TV shows - mainly to see how the police collected evidence and how they worked, but that was beside the point (and Sasha’s department) - but with ‘a violent dispute between a couple’ the police couldn’t do anything if the victim didn’t press charges.

 

Rey had fiddled with the thoughts in the ambulance, to try and justify. Pretending she was in fact cheating with Kylo… _Prank called_ him on the phone because she wanted him to suffer ‘ _because I think he was cheating on me too, officer_ ’. The whole _running Kylo over_ could be excused with: _about to have sex_ , hence naked, then _got into a fight_ , then _took his car_ , then _didn’t see him running in front of it_.

 

Of cause Rey would look like the most horrid girlfriend _and_ aggressive lover, but it wouldn’t be the first _or_ hundredth time the police would come across people like that. Rey sighed and blinked slowly. The early sunbeam slowly lit up the bedroom when sleep finally claimed her. The last thought Rey had, was Kylo’s smile and his eyes filled with love and affection.

 

\---

 

Rey woke by Poe’s agitated yet muffled voice through the apartment walls. The sun had moved further over in the bedroom and the clock on the nightstand told her that it was late afternoon.

 

She slowly got out of bed, to use the facilities. No use to disturb Poe when he talked to, what Rey assumed was an angry boss, because Poe had promised yesterday to take as many days off as need be. The thought of being left alone, to be haunted by Kylo’s ghost was not something she fancied either.

 

Not that she didn’t feel guilty of Poe’s careful care. Everything was so _blasted careful_ about Poe that she wanted to scream. It had never been this bad before but then again, Rey never had met someone like Kylo before.

 

While Rey was running the water and brushing her teeth, Poe had hidden himself in the opposite corner of the apartment. “I don’t care what you think is right. She haven’t been herself and is _constantly_ breaking down” Poe hissed into Rey’s phone.

 

“Rey NEEDS to know that she is _safe_ and if the doctors say his coma is only until his vitals give up, then there’s no harm done in her thinking he is dead, now is there! So stop calling her, dammit”.

 

The police officer in the other end was clearly not pleased with Poe’s choice on Rey’s behalf, but while the good doctors said it would take a small miracle to have the perpetrator wake up, so the officer reluctantly agreed.

 

“Have her answer her phone just _once,_ okay. We still would like that statement, so if in time for a miracle, we can still press charges. Without it, he walks Mr. Dameron!” Poe spotted Rey, so he hurried to agree though rather unconcerned, trusting the higher power to ensue justice and hung up.

 

“Reeeey, hey, good morning Sunshine” Poe erupted franticly, scared if she might have overheard something. Rey lifted her eyebrow confused, not even noticing that Poe stood with her phone and not his own. _That was a weird and nervous reaction_ , Sasha suspiciously replied to Rey’s own confusion.

 

Rey smiled and shook her head. She had lived with Sasha for so long, that her ever-paranoid voice of reason quickly could be ignored when it was Poe. _Sweet, careful Poe_ , who always looked after her, he must have been nervous if he didn’t get as many days off work as he had hoped.

 

Rey placed a hand on his shoulder, “Poe, if you can’t get off of work, it’s okay. I can just call one of my friends to come over while you are away, okay”. Of cause it _wasn’t_ okay but Rey could hardly expect him to toss everything aside when she dumped back into his life again. She was honestly just happy he had been there.

 

All those days and nights fighting to get back to him, to explain, had been worth it. _Oh yeah, you really fought to get home to Poe, while Kylo made you moan like a whore for his big dick_ , Sasha replied.

  
Poe hugged her close, “oh Sunshine, I will be here no matter what. I won’t leave until you send me away” he solemnly vowed.  
  
  
Quickly parting again to slide her phone next to his on the kitchen table, Poe promised her breakfast and gently shooed her into the living room to relax on the couch.

 

Rey noticed with a knot in her belly that Kylo’s coat was missing from the floor. She frowned and walked into the kitchen. “Poe, where is the coat I had on?” He waved a spatula around in the air “oh, don’t worry about it. I threw that out”.

 

“You did WHAT!!!” Rey couldn’t recognize her own shrill voice and Poe looked at her like she had two heads.

 

“I... I though you didn’t want to be reminded…” His face told Rey just how much he couldn’t understand her reaction. To be honest, neither could she, though Sasha reminded her, hissing and fuming inside her head. _Who are you kidding!?! It’s a part of HIM, so of cause you would cling to the last piece of him you have!_

 

Rey silently told Sasha just where to stuff it, as well as ignoring her shaking hands and focused on Poe.

 

“Just ... just tell me _where_ it is”. She said in a barely controlled voice.

 

Poe pointed towards the door, with a deep frown “it’s out in the hallway in a plastic bag. I didn’t get further this morning to throw it out than...” the rest was ignored by Rey, as she turned and marched panicked towards the front door.

 

 _What if someone had already take s the bag? Though it was something worth stealing or thought it to be trash and was a helpful neighbour and tossed it on their way down._ Rey couldn’t swallow around the gravel, that was suddenly stuck in her throat.

  
Ripping the door open, she held back a relieved, choked out ‘ _Kylo_ ’; ignoring the part of her that really saw the coat as a living extension of the man himself. Rey slammed her knees down, not caring about the shooting pain and cleaves the clear plastic open with her nails, _frantic_ to get to him... _no, the coat! It was the coat she wore to freedom_. _It was THAT it represented; freedom! Not Kylo. Yes_. At least what she would tell Poe when he asked again with that hurtful expression.

 

She looked over her shoulder to make sure Poe hadn’t followed her and took a long sniff into the collar. Dark, brown eyes and a cheeky smile was the only thing Rey saw, as she smiled into the coat with her teary eyes closed.  
_I’m a survived, I’m going to get through this_. _Kylo is gone and it’s for the best_... but a little help to get there wasn’t to be denied. _It’s called a fix, Rey and you might as well be honest with yourself_ , Sasha cooed.

 

\---

 

Unfortunately the ‘coat incident’ was only the _first_ of many things Rey did that pushed Poe away.

  
When the police officer had called a few days later to get a statement, they had caught her in one of her down periods. Screaming at the officer “what the hell does it matter any of it. Stop calling me” and the last thing the officer heard was the sobbing woman, before she hung up.

  
Poe had looked white as a sheet, like he couldn’t recognize her anymore but had still been around her, so gently and carefully stoking her back and kissed her hair. Telling her over and over it was going to be alright.

 

His insistence for calling the police back however had been annoying as hell and had Sasha hissing at him inside her head. _Why did it matter if Kylo was dead_ , _why then go through it all over in detail._ It only caused her more pain, though not the kind most victims would.

  
After a week and a half with Rey being between either furious rage or agonizing sobbing, Poe had forced her to call the hospitals physiatrist. The best advice – since Rey refused a medical approach to her problem – was ‘writing letters’. It was a well tried way of getting out all your negative emotions without telling the recipient of those feelings.

  
It wasn’t the most terrible idea and after Rey had nearly thrown Poe out the window to get space from him, he had agreed to go to work for a few hours a day, on account that she would have time to herself and write those letters.

  
The first many letters was filled with rage and teardrops on the paper, smudging the ink.

 

 ** _You stupid, stupid ass. Why did you have to capture me! Why me. Why. Why. Why!_**  
  
  
She had ended up screaming herself hoarse in the empty apartment, with the one word ‘ _why_ ’ until she fell exhausted onto the floor and sobbed for more than an hour. Then she had pulled herself up, found her inner strength. Walked over and found her old bronze platter she once found in good will and watched the letter burn.

 

\---

  
_**I don’t regret anything... not the others. Not anything I did out of need or lust. Nobody, but you! Why did you have to run after me? Why did you have to be so stubborn! If you just had trusted me, that I would be able to leave you. You wouldn’t like to be chained up either. To be broken down, have your freedom taken away? No, you wouldn’t have! Why then me, if you loved me so much? Now you are dead and what was the use of it all?**_

  
  
_Leaving me here alone in this horrid world without_ my _loving monster to comfort me_ , was left unwritten while she burned the letter. Rey hardened her look and told herself her new mantra:

 _I’m a survivor. I will survive this!_  


\---

 

 ** _It’s been nearly two months now, Ky. and I don’t know what to do. I can’t do this without you. I pushed Poe away, ever since I got home - without noticing it at first. Ha, it’s kinda funny. You were_ ** **so _right; he wasn’t right for me._**

**_Just you._ **

**_I miss you so much. I’m pregnant Ky. and I don’t think I’m going to be a good mother. I’m a horrible human being; I can still quench the urge, but… I need you! I need you so much right now._ **

 

Poe had moved out two weeks earlier, before her loose blouses could give away the tiny baby bump. Poe would think it was his, of cause, but Rey knew. He had left with a suitcase and teary eyed. She hated hurting him like this, but she couldn’t stand another second with him _not being Kylo_. In the end, better that Poe found someone else, than that he became her new target if she snapped. Pregnant hormones and all.

 

The park was a lovely break from her apartment. She hadn’t dared to take Ky’s coat on, in case someone who knew, saw her. She couldn’t risk an ‘intervention’. No, she had this burden to bear alone. Rey sat down on a park bench near the place where Kylo had taken her first. Tilting her head back, Rey closed her eyes to let the sun warm her face.

 

Something inside her made her heart beat faster and Rey’s head snapped up, looking around. Her instinct rarely was wrong, even if they were a bit spooky and not entirely normal. She scanned the huge area. Grass, bushes, trees, a few people running, a mother and child… and a man with wild, dark hair and _a cast on one arm_ , staring at her from across the lawn.

 

Rey’s breath got caught in her throat. Kylo looked miserable, but he was dead… right?! Was she beginning to see ghosts now? Unless Poe had lied?! Her heart leaped into her throat. Happy tears welled in her eyes. Kylo looked like he was scared to move; scared that she would run away.

 

Why would she run away? Oh. _Oh_ , of cause, yes. She _should_ , shouldn’t she? Rey slowly stood, making Kylo hold out a hand instantly, like he was trying to sooth a frightened animal. Rey burst out in a huge grin and ran to him as fast as she could.

 

His face lit up in disbelief and joy and when she got close enough his teary eyes stood out clear to her. Rey jumped into his embrace, legs circling his waist and she kissed his face all over. “I thought you were dead. You stupid, stupid ass”. Kylo choked a sob at her onslaught of kisses and hugged her close with his one none hurt arm. Kylo buried his face in her neck, a relieved sob bursting out.

 

She kept kissing his neck, playing with his hair, soothing him. “it’s okay, I’m here… and Kylo” she yanked gently his hair to make him look at her. He blinked away tears to see her properly. “Kylo, we are going to be parents”. His surprised face, followed by an inexplicable mix of joy and fright rushed over his expressive face.

 

Rey shook her head, knowing how scary it was. _Two monsters having a child, it either had horns coming out of her belly or they would with almost certainty corrupt the little one_. She licked her lips, gathering courage “I want to live with you, NOT to be caged, but _really_ live with you and this baby. We’ll figure it out, yeah?”

 

He could only nod extensively, seemingly happy that she would even consider being near him at all. _But how could she not. He loved her for who she really was, she didn’t have to pretend with him and even if they never would take another life, she would be free with him, truly free._

 

“The Police…” Kylo swallowed and cleared his throat, misuse for nearly two months made it gravely and raw. “The police said you didn’t press charges and since they had experience with cheating girlfriend trying to lie to cover up for it, they didn’t have enough to keep me when I woke from the coma”. Rey stroke his cheek. _So that’s why Kylo looked so weakened… and that’s why Poe lied. He hadn’t expected him to wake up._

 

He frowned and looked serious at her “why… why didn’t you tell them about the others”. Rey pouted, willing to let the past die, even if she knew it was wrong. Running him over and clearly breaking bones in his body was enough punishment in her book. She needed Kylo at her side and for once, Rey was being selfish.

 

“Please don’t talk about them. Ever. Again. I finally got you back and,“ Rey softened her look, “I need my monster back, to protect me and love me”. Rifling her fingers through his hair, she kissed him softly. Feeling his desperate yet soft kisses, Rey finally found her home.

 

\---

 

Three months later, thanks to Kylo’s ‘family money’, they now owned a wonderful house encircled of forest and mountains. They found an outlet for their darker urges, making up scenarios during sex on who to kill. It kept them both on the right side of the law and had Sasha to purr in the back of her mind every time Kylo whispered those thrilling scenes while fucking her raw.

 

Rey had gotten a better life, a _happier life_ , than she ever thought possible. She didn’t have to fight herself or her dark desires. Kylo fulfilled each and every one of them. She felt safe, loved and she finally wasn’t afraid anymore.

 

 


End file.
